Thursday, October 9, 2008

A Disturbing Little Chat with the Missus

Well, it's five in the morning, I've been up since one, I need to trim down my Anomalocaris and make Matt and the Deacon quit dicking around and get back to the story...

But first here's a conversation I had with the missus yesterday afternoon.

Me: I'm thinking about going back on supplements.

She: I wish you would. You're a lot easier to get along with.

Me: I've just been nervous ever since I read about the increased death rate for people who take nutritional supplements. And it seems like nobody really knows what's going on with nutrition. I have no idea where to go for information.

She: You could talk to my nutritionist...

Me: That's the thing -- you've been to a bunch of nutritionists and they all give you totally different advice. Without a consensus what's your basis for making a decision?

She: You could do the hair analysis.

Me: Well, that's better than spit dowsing but I still don't trust it. I gotta do something, though. The crazy has been biting bad the last few months.

She: No fooling.

Me: It does seem like the vitamins help. Fuck it; it's probably worth losing a few years of life.

She: Yes.

(A quick post-conversation scan of the internet suggested that B, C, and a number of mineral deficiencies can cause mental illness -- but if you don't have a deficiency then there's no point in taking supplements. I'm gonna try taking a C supplement and eating nutritional yeast for a while, maybe try a manganese supplement. It's kind of a drag -- the yeast is tasty but it gives me breath that smells like a fart, which is why I stopped eating it before. Of course if you're intolerable there's no point in having breath as sweet as the zephyrs of May, now is there?)

3 comments:

Paul said...

Dear lord, it's the return of stench-mouth! Jeebus help us all...

Sean Craven said...

So you've had to listen to me rant about involuntarily punching holes in fences and debate as to whether it's agitated depression or psychotic agitated depression.

And you'd prefer that to being in the same room with me after I've eaten yeast toast...

Says it all, doesn't it?

Paul said...

Hmmm...

"rant"?

We're both guilty.

"involuntarily"?

I think not.

"psychotic"?

Definitely.

"prefer"?

Absolutely.

Some days I'd prefer to be the poor fence.

Look -- the only reason Australia can get away with Vegemite (TM) is because of its isolation. There's a reason that New Zealand is doing its best to drift away from its western neighbor as quickly as possible.

Keep in mind that Vegemite (TM) on the breath is like the scent of roses compared to the putrescent rotting-corpse
stench of the piece of yeast toast you had for breakfast (or lunch or dinner) that emanates from you as you boast about the unfortunate fate you've visited upon one poor object or another. Psychotic indeed...