Friday, January 16, 2009

The Uncalled-For Opinions Of Some Stupid Bassosaurs and The Start Of The CAPTCHA Novel

Shut up, Bassosaurs! Nobody's listening to you! Just shut up!

Okay, among other things, yesterday I finished off the first stage in a stupid project that is going to do nothing but waste time and bring me heartbreak and drive away any potential audience I might have.

That's right, folks! It's time to start the CAPTCHA fantasy novel, the chee-Z novel-with-a-map-and-glossary (in my imagination it has one of those yellow DAW books spines) based on the words from those identification thingies that you have to fill out when you post comments. You know what's depressing? I may well wind up using them as a resource for made-up words in the future -- some of these are pretty convincing, as though they'd been lifted from Lord Dunsany or Clarke Ashton Smith. Check it out!

1) Adeshe
2) Adompab
3) Alingons
4) Almist
5) Allist
6) Amatblet
7) Bachnes
8) Bactrin
9) Bessu
10) Bicinap
11) Cargot
12) Cemitica
13) Cheeneup
14) Cituriat
15) Coccho
16) Crupin
17) Cuperae
18) Delde
19) Difyints
20) Disompe
21) Enteaked
22) Epeedayo
23) Estrefi
24) Exteri
25) Fashu
26) Fatel
27) Fiesones
28) Finqg
29) Firommu
30) Flardsh
31) Foloim
32) Flediton
33) Flograt
34) Galhoua
35) Gatonve
36) Gencelp
37) Guinos
38) Heedne
39) Helmiss
40) Hymonufn
41) Icapolog
42) Imbed
43) Imetedle
44) Inding
45) Ingla
46) Ingnannj
47) Ingthest
48) Itionon
49) Joloper
50) Klumm
51) Lazut
52) Lesesth
53) Letelie
54) Luterise
55) Maling
56) Mandsol
57) Mintsten
58) Mislin
59) Mismot
60) Misrete
61) Mumscaks
62) Nhaffh
63) Noman
64) Noolem
65) Ovelogia
66) Ovento
67) Pacarwa
68) Patorti
69) Pedurth
70) Plepiloa
71) Plogu
72) Poter
73) Prout
74) Provapl
75) Pulas
76) Repilsio
77) Ressic
78) Rubhewou
79) Rupence
80) Schipt
81) Sheougne
82) Slitigia
83) Sopshno
84) Slyer
85) Stousime
86) Syncon
87) Tottion
88) Tudings
89) Ukoflen
90) Unchia
91) Unciru
92) Undonart
93) Unsynea
94) Vastrega
95) Vatsal
96) Vithroot
97) Voody
98) Wationso
99) Winglys
100) Woregis

So here's how it's going to work. I'm gonna crank out chapters off the top of my head -- no real worldbuilding, no plotting or character development -- and post them as I finish them. I'll be using a pseudonym as a means of saying, "Hey, this is just a hoot."

I'll post chapter headings here with a link to the full chapters on another website -- and any comments you care to make will be taken into account and used for inspiration for the next chapter. If you're looking at these words and you come up with a good definition for one, post it and maybe I'll use it. If you think I need some giant robots tell me and maybe I'll toss in a fistful of mecha. Any ideas for characters, plot twists, world development, etch. are more than welcome.

When I hit fifty thousand words I'll start tying the whole thing up -- and when it's done, I'll put together a print-on-demand edition just for shits and giggles. If it worked for Raymond Chandler and Chester Himes it'll work for me, or at least it'll work for someone as good as Raymond Chandler or Chester Himes.

Why am I doing this? Because I'm waiting to hear back from readers on my novel and I don't have a fiction project and it's driving me nuts? Yeah, I guess. Because I want to demystify the process of creating a novel and blow out some of the artistic preciousness that I've built up while learning how to write? Hey, that sounds like a great idea. Because Glendon told me this was a ticket to internet notoriety? That would be it.

Over and out.


Traumador said...

sounds like fun.

how come no one listens to those poor dinosaurs?

Sean Craven said...

Because rude, poorly-drawn, and ornithischian is no way to go through life, son.

Either that or it's because I've got my fingers in my ears and I'm humming loudly so as to drown out their unfortunately-accurate criticisms.

Zach said...

Indeed, those poor neoceratopsians look like they're re-growing lost tails, as would a gecko.

robp said...


I think these are character names in World of Warcraft. If not, they should be. The one time I played it took me quite a while to select a name that was available, I felt like I was never doing much of anything and I was an addict for three or four hours. Presumably you want a similar response with this.

I'm concerned that there's an implication here that you might not need giant robots: we all need giant robots. Especially in the land of Adeshe. Fuck, if they'd expedite house cleaning I could use em here.

As to sharing ideas with another writer - only if it's something I'm never going to use.

Shouldn't you be working on the corpse huffers?

Sean Craven said...

Hey, Zach!

Those neoceratopsians are some of my first dinosaur drawings, done before I'd developed any skill at anatomical interpretation. When I drew them I was keeping reptiles (including a pair of Leopard geckos) and I was influenced by them, so it's no wonder they wound up looking lizardy.

Rob -- thing is, is that I've got a fairly solid story for the corpse huffers. This one is intended to be an experiment, a throwaway, a bagatelle.

It'll also give me a chance to go through the entire experience of self-publication without feeling too invested in the product.

Tribes of the Black Tower, while a lightweight story, is something for which I have a wee tad more ambition.