Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Why I Hate The USA: Dishonerable Opponents

So I was looking at the statistics for the blog and I noticed that someone from the Democratic National Committee had taken a peek at the last post. (I assume they were after dog brain porn.) I wasn't sure if I was going to do any more of these screeds, thought that if I did I'd probably do something on the prison system or education.

But now that there's a chance someone involved in politics might see them? Boy howdy.

Hey, Republican National Committee! Come on down and have a look-see for yourself!

I'm going to indulge in a little fantasy here. I'm going to pretend that I can actually address the two major political parties.

Okay, you two. Cut it out. You are fucking civil servants. Start fucking serving the people.

Republicans? Remember when you were Lincoln's party? Democrats! Remember when you were devoted to social welfare?

What the fuck happened to you two?

I think a two party system is madness. You can't divide every issue into two sides. You can't have a party that deals with all issues in a cohesive fashion. That's not how reality works. Each issue needs to be regarded both in isolation and in conjunction with all other issues.

That said, if one party was genuinely interested in promoting social progress through the use of legislation and the other was genuinely interested in economic conservatism and minimizing government's place in the culture?

That would not be a terrible thing. I could live with that. And wouldn't it be swell if you campaigned on the basis of things like, oh, I don't know. Maybe issues? Voting records?

But those concepts of the Democratic and Republican party have fallen by the wayside, and what we've got are the chickenshit kleptocrats and the loud-mouthed trigger-happy 'I'm all fucked up on Jesus' kleptocrats.

Democrats, you need to get your ovaries and testicles in functioning fucking condition. From the Reagan years on you have let the Republicans fuck this country like a prison bitch. Right now America is dribbling shit from a ruptured anus because you did not sac up and do what's right. They lied and they lied and then they lied some more and all of their lies were easily refuted with indisputable evidence and you let them fucking get away with it because you were scared of losing the dumbshit vote.

Or, rather, the sweet, sweet flow of cash from the corporate teat washed your mouth clean of the taste of Republican jizz. Rather than presenting a unified front opposing what was clearly wrong, you chose political expediency and personal gain and we are all paying the price for your weakness and greed.

(I'll go into this later, but if you think prison rape is funny, or that anyone deserves to be raped? You are a fucking degraded subhuman. Go jump into moving traffic, now.)

And Republicans. I remember with fondness the Reagan years, back when I'd hear asinine granola-grubbing left wing types refer to Republicans as Nazis and I would give them shit about it.

That's right. I may not have given you any votes, but I defended your right to exist.

But between prison camps, illegal wars, openly advocating torture, mass wiretapping, plundering of public funds for private interests, the sick collusion of corporatism and theocracy metastasizing in the political body --

You aren't as bad as the Nazis were. But you are now legitimately comparable to the Nazis. And if given full reign? I think you'd be every bit as bad and maybe worse.

And the way you lie! I mean, you'd think with all the practice you've had you'd be good at it. But no. The way you've embraced the big lie principle is fucking staggering. You just say whatever you think is going to get you your way no matter what you said on camera the day before, no matter what the facts are. Black is white, red is blue, that's not dogshit, it's chocolate.

And the USA eats it right up. Just swallows it down.

Any ordinary citizen who regards him- or herself as a Democrat or a Republican is a sucker. Two sides of one coin. To support one or the other is to support a bankrupt system.

I used to automatically vote for whatever third party seemed most likely to have a chance. Even Libertarians!

(There are two kinds of Libertarians. The naive kind who believe that the magical Free Market fairy will wave her wand and make everything better, and the vicious kind who really like the idea of the vulnerable starving in the gutter.)

Bush put an end to that. His administration made it plain that the Republicans as they currently stand are genuinely evil and will consistently act against the best interests of the nation and the world as a whole in order to indulge their greed and bloodthirst. I hate the Democrats; the Republicans are unquestionably worse, even if their strength and determination makes them more attractive.

That's right, Republicans. You've driven me to vote Democrat. You, of all people, should know how degraded a condition that is.

Sometimes I wish I believed in God. Because then I could believe in Hell. Because if I believed in Hell?

I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are going there.


Screams at Fish said...

Beautiful rant, Sean. Politics is not football, but the vast majority of voters "pick their team, and stick with them." They don't think for themselves. They spend their time learning by rote all the rationalizations for why their team is the best, and the other team is Satan and all his demons. If you think abortion is wrong, you are a automatically a deranged religious nutcase who blows up clinics and then roasts marshmallows in the fire. If you believe in pro-choice, you are obviously a fire breathing monster who enjoys pitch-forking infants for sport.

I've known rich conservatives in Texas who would go on for hours about the tolerance and love of their faith, but would shoot you between the eyes if you stepped into their back yard. I've known old money liberals in Berkeley who basked in their enlightenment and open mindedness, but who would sponaneously combust if you ever dared to actually disagree with them. All these people really cared about was their own self-centeredness.

Until we learn to pull our collective heads out of our asses, put our egos aside at least a little (GASP!!)and start being honest about the problems and issues in our contry, we will continue to slog around in the muck, wasting time and resources, and starting over from scratch every four to eight years.

Much love Sean, and keep fighting the power.

Screams at Fish

Sean Craven said...

Dude, I am so tempted to just cut and paste this into my next post and claim it was my own.

Fuck, yeah.

I actually went into this with the 'you gotta root for your team' metaphor in mind, but it was overwhelmed by the tidal wave of hatred. Thank you for bringing that in. "Us Vs. Them" is the ultimate duality, and fuck it. It's all us.

I was feeling a little disappointed by the numbers this post generated but if I get one response like this?

I'll keep going for a loooooong time.

By the way, dude. Send me a mailing address. I'll send you a copy of Swill. It's very nice.

Oh -- I've gotten word from Jason and Bruce, believe it or not. East Bay Caucasian Survivors, unite and feel massive racial guilt!

-W said...

Sean, I'd say you've found your calling in political humor but you have too many callings already. It's really not fair.

Anyway, gorgeous shit right here.

Sean Craven said...

Thanks for the kind words, sir. I actually kinda wish I was good at one thing and it was something that made me money. Ah, well. Whatcha gonna do?