Tuesday, September 1, 2009

One Small Step...

Some people can rock the Grizzly Adams look. I ain't one of 'em.

Of course, the haircut lets one clearly observe the shape of my skull. It's definitely a hominid skull. No question of that.

So I've been going through it for the last few days. I lose all motivation when the missus isn't around, I'm worried about her mom, etc, etc. So for a few days there I more or less collapsed. Did nothing worth anything. Watched the Walking With... DVDs. Again. No scary mood swings or anything like that -- just a sense of numb, overwhelmed helplessness.

Yesterday I reminded myself that it was the beginning of the semester and I had a lot to do. So I pulled myself out of the mire, a bit. I made sure I ate a meal. (I plan on eating at least two of those today...) I bullied myself into editing the submissions for the Monday night writer's group.

And I also pulled a little trick that has helped me out of this situation before. When I feel overwhelmed by the demands of life, it's because I'm seeing life as one huge, monolithic thing. So breaking it down into smaller units of struggle is of use.

Sometimes just cutting my damned hair is enough to help me feel as though I've got some kind of grip on the situation. So there you go -- I need to buy plane tickets, finish off my student loan application, do an assignment for my 3D class -- which looks to be an ass-kicker, by the way, read the manual for my camera, draw an Anomalocaris, order my software, etc, etc.

But I cut my hair. And now I'm gonna do my next chore. And then the next. When the missus comes back home, I don't want to be a basket case. She doesn't need that right now.

Sometimes I kinda wish I wasn't a crazy person. Oh, well. I've got to work with the materials at hand.

One step at a time, oafboy. One step at a time.

Monday, August 31, 2009

My First Year

Well, the missus is down south taking care of her mom. Ruth is doing much better; the antibiotics seem to be working. But of course as soon as Karen left, I collapsed like a marionette with the strings cut. It is my way. I've done sweet fuck all in the last three days and I'm feeling pretty crappy about it. Cie la fucking vie, you know?

But today's a bit of a special occasion. I started blogging a year ago. Happy birthday, blog. We've had some good times. First art show, placing a story in a book alongside Joe R. Lansdale, getting into Viable Paradise, finishing a solid draft of the first volume of the novel, all those fucking shootings... It's been an interesting year.

Let's take a quick stroll down memory lane. Here are some good Oaf stories:

My Brief Career as a Vigilante
The Missus Gets the Best of the Oaf
True Amphibian Crime
My Life is a Freak Show Part One
I Am Not Kidding: Part Two
This is Just How It Is: Part Three
The Oaf's Childhood Partially Explained

Perhaps someday I'll do something with these... Here are a few of my thoughts on writing.

Plot 1
Plot 2
Plot 3
Plot 4
Plot 5


Genre 1
Genre 2
Genre 3

And from my other site,


And of course, I'd be nothing if it weren't for Hate.